Conjugial (marriage) love


[1 of 2] Swedenborg (1688-1772, Sweden): primary subject "Love, conjugial (marriage)" (search under Inner Life/Love, Positive Emotion, Virtue, Will)": source "Spiritual Experiences, vol.3": detail "Section 4229"
Marriage love is the fundamental of all mutual love, mutual love being that one wishes for another better than for oneself. But the tie of marriage love is closer. Not only does one experience the highest happiness in giving himself completely to his married partner, and being united as one mind, but it is also the love of preservation of the whole human race, being the mercy of the Lord toward the universal human race, which streams into marriage love, and thence with the partners, into their marriage love, the love of procreation of offspring, and the love itself of the offspring. And, moreover, they are also so created that their minds and hearts may be ever more closely united.

[2 of 2] Swedenborg (1688-1772, Sweden): primary subject "Love, conjugial (marriage)" (search under Inner Life/Love, Positive Emotion, Virtue, Will)": source "Arcana Coelestia, vol.12": detail "Section 10168 - 10174"
True conjugial love is the union of two minds, which is a spiritual union; and all spiritual union comes down from heaven. It is for this reason that true conjugial love is from heaven, and that its primary being (esse) is from the marriage of good and truth there.
 From this it is evident, that true conjugial love is the union of two persons as to the interiors of the thought and the will, or of truth and good; for truth pertains to thought and good belongs to the will. For he who has true conjugial love, loves what the other thinks, and what the other wills; that is, he loves to think as the other thinks, and to will as the other wills, consequently to be united to the other, and to become one.
 The delight of true conjugial love is an internal one, because it relates to the mind, and it is also an external bodily delight, arising from the internal delight; the love which is not a true conjugial one is merely external bereft of internal joy; it is merely carnal and not mental, and moreover, it is earthly almost like that of animals, and therefore in the course of time it comes to an end; but the former is heavenly, and such as should characterize men, and is consequently permanent.
 The marriage of good and truth in heaven and in the Church enables us to see what the nature of marriage on the earth ought to be; marriage ought to exist between one husband and one wife; and true conjugial love is impossible if a husband has more wives than one.
 That which is done from true conjugial love, is done from mutual freedom; for all freedom is from love, and each of them is in the enjoyment of freedom when the one loves what the other thinks and wills. It is for this reason that in marriage the desire of ruling destroys true love, for it takes away its freedom, and so also its joy. The delight of ruling, which takes its place, gives rise to disagreements, sets minds at enmity, and causes evils to take root according to the nature of the dominion of the one and the servitude of the other.
 From these things it is evident, that marriage is holy, and that to violate it is to violate that which is holy; consequently that adultery is profane; for as the delight of conjugial love comes from heaven, so the delight of adultery ascends out of hell.