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Daily Quote by Osho (Rajneesh)
1931-1990, India

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Showing quotes by this author where the primary or secondary subjects are "Love, and emotions".
On the Search page this Subject is located under "Inner Life/Love, Positive Emotion, Virtue, Will".
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[1 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
Every lover feels that something is missing, because love is unfinished. It is a process, not a thing. Every lover is bound to feel that something is missing—but don’t interpret it wrongly. It simply shows that love in itself is a dynamic thing. It is just like a river, always moving, always moving. In the very movement is the life of the river. Once it stops it becomes a stagnant thing; then it is no longer a river. The very word river shows a process, the very sound of it gives you the feeling of movement.
 Love is a river, it is not a thing, a commodity. So don’t think that something is missing; it is part of love’s process. And it is good that it is not completed. When something is missing you have to do something. That is a call from higher and higher peaks. Not that when you reach them you will feel fulfilled; love never feels fulfilled. It knows no fulfillment, but it is beautiful because then it is alive for ever and ever.
 And you will always feel that something is not in tune. That too is natural, because when two persons are meeting, two different worlds are meeting. To expect that they will fit perfectly is to expect too much, is to expect the impossible, and that will create frustration. Something will always be out of tune. If you fit completely and there is nothing out of tune, the relationship will become stagnant. At the most there are a few moments when everything is in tune, rare moments. Even when they come you may not be able to catch them they are so swift, so rare. They have not come and they are already gone—just a glimpse. And that glimpse will make you more frustrated, because then you will see more and more that things are out of tune.
 This is how it has to be. Make all efforts to make that in-tuneness, but always be ready if it doesn’t happen perfectly. And don’t be worried about it, otherwise you will fall more and more out of tune. It comes only when you are not worried about it. It happens only when you are not tense about it, when you are not even expecting it—just out of the blue. It is a grace, a gift of existence.
 Love is not a thing you can do. But by doing other things, love will happen. There are small things you can do—sitting together, looking at the moon, listening to music—nothing directly to do with love.
  Love is very delicate, fragile. If you look at it, gaze at it directly, it will disappear. It comes only when you are unaware, doing something else. You cannot go directly, arrow-like. Love is not a target. It is a very subtle phenomenon  … it is very shy. If you go direct, it will hide. If you do something direct, you will miss.
 The world has become very stupid about love. They want it immediately. They want it like instant coffee—whenever you want, order, and it is there. Love is a delicate art; it is nothing you can do really.
 Sometimes those rare blissful moments come … then something of the unknown descends. You are no longer on the earth, you are in paradise. Reading a book with your lover, both deeply absorbed in it, suddenly you find that a different quality of being has arisen around you both; something surrounds you both like an aura, and everything is peaceful. But you were not doing anything directly. You were just reading a book, or just going for a long walk, hand in hand against the strong wind—suddenly it is there. It always takes you unawares. So learn to do things together.
 I have watched so many people, thousands of couples. People have completely forgotten the language of doing things together, or not doing anything, just being together, just being. People have forgotten that. If they have nothing to do they make love. Then nothing happens, and by and by they are frustrated by love itself, and then the whole of life loses meaning, because if love loses meaning, life loses meaning.
 Man and woman are different—not only different, they are opposite; they cannot fit together. And that’s the beauty—when they fit together it is a miracle, a magic moment. Otherwise they conflict and fight. That’s natural and can be understood, because they have different minds. Their outlooks are polar opposites. They cannot agree on anything, because their ways are different, their logic is different.
 To fit in a deep tune, to fall in deep harmony, is almost miraculous. It is like a Kohinoor [diamond], and one should not ask for it every day. One should not ask for it as part of a routine. One should wait for it. Months, sometimes years pass, and then suddenly it is there. And it is always out of the blue. … And don’t become a seeker after love, otherwise you will miss it completely.


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[2 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove is a combination of gratefulness, friendliness and compassion. If these three are there, then you are in love.

[3 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove gives meaning. It is not that through love any result comes into being or any goal — no! Through love every moment becomes of value in itself.

[4 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove is being totally open, vulnerable. It is dangerous, you become insecure. We cannot ask how to love, we cannot ask how to surrender. It happens! Love happens, surrender happens. Love and surrender are deeply one. But what is it? And if we cannot know how to surrender, at least we can know how we are maintaining ourselves, how we are preventing ourselves from surrendering. That can be known and that is helpful.
 How is it that you have not surrendered yet? What is your technique of non-surrendering? If you have not fallen in love yet, then the real problem is not how to love. The real problem is to dig deep to find out how you have lived without love, what is your trick, what is your technique, what is your structure — your defense structure, how you have lived without love. That can he understood, and that should be understood.


[5 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismSometimes a glimpse into [your] center suddenly happens, if you are relaxed. There are moments when you are relaxed. You are in love: for a few moments, for a single moment, your lover, your beloved is with you. It has been a long desire, a long effort, and at last your beloved is with you. For a moment the mind goes off. There has been a long effort to be with the beloved. The mind has been hankering and hankering and hankering, and the mind has always been thinking, thinking about the beloved. Now the beloved is there and suddenly the mind cannot think. The old process cannot be continued. You were asking for the beloved; now the beloved is there, so the mind simply stops.
 In that moment when the beloved is there, there is no desire. You are relaxed; suddenly you are thrown back to yourself. Unless a lover can throw you to yourself it is not love. Unless you become yourself in the presence of the beloved, it is not love. Unless mind completely ceases to function the presence of the lover or the beloved, it is not love.
 Sometimes it happens that mind ceases and for a moment there is no desire. Love is desireless. Try to understand this: you may desire love, but love is desireless. When love happens there is no desire; mind is quiet, calm, relaxed. No more becoming, nowhere to go.
 But this happens only for a few moments, if it happens at all.


[6 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismWhile in love, you must not be — only love, only loving. Become loving. While caressing your lover or beloved become the caress. While kissing, do not be the kisser or the kissed — be the kiss. Forget the ego completely, dissolve it into the act. Move into the act so deeply that the actor is no more. And if you cannot move into love, it is difficult to move into eating or walking — very difficult, because love is the easiest approach for dissolving the ego. That is why those who are egoists cannot love. They may talk about it, they may sing about it, they may write about it, but they cannot love. The ego cannot love!

[7 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismWhat are the symptoms of being in love? Three things. First, absolute contentment. Nothing else is needed; not even God is needed. Second, no future. This very moment of love is eternity. No next moment, no future, no tomorrow. Love is a happening in the present. And third, you cease to be, you are no more. If you still are, then you have still not entered the temple of love.

[8 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismHave you observed that a lover cannot sleep? He is not at ease—he is feverish. If you examine him, he will show many symptoms of many diseases. This love, the so-called love of mind and body, is really a disease, but one remains occupied—that is the function of it. Otherwise you will feel unoccupied, as if you are not doing anything in this world. Your whole life will seem vacant, so love is good to fill it.
 Mind itself is the disease, so whatsoever belongs to the mind is going to be a disease. Only beyond mind, where you are not divided in duality, where you are one, only there does a different love flower. Jesus calls it love. Buddha calls it compassion. This is just to make a distinction. It makes no difference what you call it.
 There is a possibility of a love which has no opposite to it, but that love can come only when you go beyond this love. And to go beyond, I suggest that you be authentic. To be authentic—in hate, in love, in anger, in everything, be authentic: real, not pretending, because only a reality can be transcended. You cannot transcend unreal things.


[9 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove is not an act; it is not something that you do. If you do it, it is not love. No doing is involved in love; it is a state of being, not an act. …
It is not an effort because if it were an effort you would get tired. It is a state of mind.
 And do not think in terms of relationship, think in terms of states of mind. If you are in love, this is a state of mind. This state of mind may be focused on one person or it may be unfocused—on the whole. When it is focused on one person, it is known as love. When it becomes unfocused, it becomes prayer. Then you are just in love—not with someone, but just in love, as you are breathing.
 If breathing were an effort you would get tired of it, and you would have to relax and then you would die. If it were an effort, then at some time you might forget to do it and then you would die. Love is just like breathing, it is a higher plane of breathing. If you do not breathe, your body will die. If you are not in love, your spirit cannot be born.
 So take love as a breathing of the soul. When you are in love your soul becomes vital, alive, just like it is breathing. But think in this way. If I say to you, “Only breathe when you are near me and do not breathe anywhere else,” then you will die. And the next time you will be near me you will be just dead and you will not even be able to breathe near me.
 That has happened with love. We possess—the love object is possessed and the lover says, “Don’t love anybody else. Only love me.” Then the love is atrophied and then the lover cannot love, it becomes impossible. It doesn’t mean that you have to love everyone, but you have to be in a loving state of mind. It is just like breathing: even if your enemy is there you will breathe.
 That is the meaning of Jesus’ saying, “Love your enemy.” It has been a problem for Christianity, how to understand this saying, “Love your enemy.” It seems contradictory. But if loving is not an act, if it is just a state of mind, then there is no question of enemy or friend. You are in love. …
 A moment of love is a timeless moment.


[10 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove is purposeless. Love is not a commodity. You cannot accumulate it; you cannot make a bank balance of it; you cannot strengthen your ego out of it. Really, love is the most absurd act, with no meaning beyond it, no purpose beyond it. It exists in itself, not for anything else.

[11 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismThere is no need to protect yourself against love, because love is not the enemy. Love is the only friend. Don’t protect yourself. Don’t hide from love. Don’t be afraid of love. When love calls, go with it. Wherever it leads, go with it, go in trust.

[12 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove is very essential. You have to lose yourself to gain yourself. Love is the only possibility of losing yourself totally.

[13 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismAnd you say: “I love roses, also other flowers.”
Why only roses and why only flowers? Love should be unaddressed. Love need not be oriented toward the other. Love oriented toward the other is not true love, love as relationship is not true love. Love as a state of being is true love. One can love a woman, one can love a man, one can love one’s children, one can love one’s parents, one can love roses, one can love other flowers, one can love a thousand and one things—but these are all relationships.
 Learn how to be love. So it is not a question of to whom your love is addressed, it is simply a question of your being loving. Sitting alone, still love goes on flowing. …
 Jesus says: “God is love.” I say to you: “Love is God.” The words are the same, but the significance is very different. Jesus says: “God is love.” Then love becomes only one of the qualities of God. He is wise also, powerful also, a judge also, and many things more. Amidst all those qualities he is love too. Jesus’ statement was very revolutionary in those days, but not anymore.
 I say: “Love is God.” Then it is not a question of God having many other qualities. In fact God disappears—love itself becomes God. Love is the real thing. God is the name given by the theologians to something they know nothing about. There is no God; the whole existence is made of the stuff called love.
 But if you love the word God it’s perfectly okay, you can call it “God.” But remember always it is love, and you will know this love only when love has become a state of your being, a simple state of your being.


[14 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismThe flower of love can blossom only when there is no ego, when there is no effort to dominate, when one is humble, when one is trying not to be somebody but is ready to be nobody.

[15 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismThis love affair, this love marriage is failing, it has already failed. The reason is that you don’t know how to wait so that love can happen. You have to learn a meditative state of waiting. Then love is not a passion, it is not a desire. Then love is not sexual; then love is a feeling of two hearts beating in the same rhythm. It is not a question of beautiful faces or beautiful bodies. It is something very deep, a question of harmony. If love arises out of harmony, then only will we know a successful life, a life of fulfillment in which love goes on deepening because it does not depend on anything outer; it depends on something inner. It does not depend on the nose and the length of the nose; it depends on an inner feeling of two hearts beating in the same rhythm. That rhythm can go on growing, can have new depths, newer spaces. Sex can be a part of it, but it is not sexual. Sex may come into it, may disappear in it. It is far greater than sex. So whether the person you love is young or old does not matter.

[16 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismIn mathematics, one plus one is always two. In love, one plus one is always one.

[17 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismThere are many kinds of love, but the love that exists between the master and the disciple is the purest, unpolluted by any expectations, by any demands, by any conditions. The master accepts you as you are, with no desire to make something else of you. You love the master because he gives you, for the first time in your life, in all your relationships, freedom to be yourself, without fear, without guilt. Your experience is natural.
 It has happened to every disciple, it is a cosmic experience. But it cannot happen if you are only a student. If you have come here only to learn, to accumulate knowledge, then this kind of miracle is not possible. If you have come here to expand your consciousness, to make your being more integral; then you have not come to increase your knowledge but to be reborn. You have come to become a child again; you have come to get back the purity, the fragrance, the beauty of your innocence.


[18 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismIn fact, if you really want to love your woman or your man, you have to be loving towards everybody you meet. You have to keep the flame burning. You have to keep breathing love. You have to keep radiating love; otherwise, when you meet your beloved, you only have just words to say: “I love you.”
 You know it is false, she knows it is false. You know she knows it is false; she knows you know it is false. Both know the reality, and both are trying not to see it. But what has happened? Why has the love disappeared? Because you made love a relationship.
 Love cannot be made a relationship, love is a state of being. You are just a loving person. You love your friends, you love your books, you love paintings, you love the sunrise. You love many things. In all those things your love grows, expands; and the woman is benefited because now she has a man who is so full of love. The man is benefited if the woman also is in a state of love.
 In my commune you have to learn loving—not love relationships, but love as a state of your being, love as breathing. Just what breathing does to the body, love does to your soul.
 Love is the breathing of your soul. The more you love, the more soul you have.
 So don’t be jealous. Don’t prevent anybody, and don’t try to monopolize love. There are a few things which cannot be monopolized.
 You see a bird on the wing in the air, so beautiful—the freedom, the joy. You can catch the bird, you can put it in a beautiful golden cage. Do you think it is the same bird? Apparently it is the same bird, but in reality it is not the same bird.
 Where is the freedom? Where are those beautiful wings, balancing in the air? Where is that vast sky, the unlimited freedom? You have taken everything from the poor bird, and you think you have given him a great, precious cage, made of twenty-four karat gold! You have killed him.
 That has been happening to love. The bird on the wing, free in the sky, is a beauty. The bird in a cage is dead, his spirit is dead. He still breathes; but he must be dreaming of the freedom of those beautiful moments rising higher and higher into the sky … of those beautiful mornings … the sunrise, the sunset. You have taken everything from the bird.
 Love is a bird. Keep it free, don’t try to monopolize it. It dies when you monopolize it. And that’s why in the whole world everybody is saying, “I love you,” and there seems to be no love at all anywhere.
 The basic reason is, we have not allowed love freedom. We have tried to keep it in bondage—and it is not possible. Then you can have only a hypocritical kind of love. It says, “I love you,” because it has to be said; otherwise there is trouble. To avoid the trouble, the husband says, “I love you,” the wife says, “I love you.” But you can’t see the shine, the gleam in their eyes, the aura on their faces. You cannot hear their hearts beating faster, you cannot smell the aroma of love around them. Everything is dead.
 Love is the breathing of your soul.
 Never allow your love to be dead, at any cost: you are killing your own spirit. And never do this harm to anybody else either.
 Love gives freedom. And the more freedom love gives, the more loving the person becomes. This has to be the approach in my commune. …
 But when you love somebody the difficulty arises. When you are really a friend to somebody a great question haunts you, because now your friendship, your love, cannot be satisfied by knowing that he is a doctor or a professor. You know those are his professional functions, but he is not exhausted by them: Who is he?
 The closer you come, the more you become strangers to each other, because all false labels, identity cards, passports, nationalities, religions, start disappearing. You are facing a naked human being, and you are also a naked human being—just the way you were born. Even the name is just a label given by others.
 Love reveals the stranger in the other.
 This is one of the most significant questions in the human relationship, because you are afraid of the stranger—and the stranger is in your bed! And you don’t know this man, you don’t know this woman; it is risky. If you don’t know this man, this woman, you cannot predict what he is going to do in the night. Perhaps he may steal everything and escape, or may kill you. So people start finding new, phony labels—husband and wife. Again you are going away from each other. You were not capable of remaining strangers and yet lovers.
 I would like my people to know that it is a tremendous joy to discover the stranger in your friend, because this is the only reality. Don’t camouflage it, don’t cover it up. Don’t go to a church to get married. Let him remain unpredictable; this is his independence and his birthright. And the same is true for you; this is your independence and your birthright.
 In fact, nature does not allow anybody to enter into the privacy of any individual. Nature is immensely compassionate: you cannot trespass.
 I can know myself, nobody else can know me. You can know yourself, nobody else can know you. This is a blessing.


[19 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismWhen you fall in love, no questions arise. You are clean, the other person is clean. But when you want to separate, the days, the nights, the years that you have lived together, loved together, experienced something which is one of the most beautiful gifts of nature—you go on becoming entangled.
 You go on giving promises to each other … and it is not that you are lying or deceiving; in those beautiful moments those promises seem to be absolutely coming from your heart. But when those moments are gone—and they will be gone, because it has been a fall, and nobody can remain in a fallen state for eternity. Someday he has to rise again. And the moment you start separating, all those entanglements, your promises, the other’s promises, create the complexity.
 Rising in love is something spiritual.
 Falling in love is something biological.
 Biology is blind, that’s why love is called blind. But the love I am talking about is the only insight that is easily available to everyone. Just a little effort ….
 Love should come out of your silence, awareness, meditativeness. It is soft, it is unbinding—because how can love create fetters for the one who is loved? It is giving freedom to each other, more and more. As the love grows deeper, freedom becomes bigger. As the love grows deeper, you start accepting the person as he is. You stop trying to change the person.
 It is one of the miseries of the world that lovers are continuously trying to change the other person. They don’t know that if the person really changes, their love will disappear, because they had not fallen in love with this changed person in the first place. They had fallen in love with a person who was not touched by their ideas— “Change this and that.”
 Rising in love, you become aware that the other has his own territorial imperative, and you are not to encroach upon it.
 If love becomes freedom, then there is no need to separate. The idea of separation arises because you go on seeing that you are becoming more and more a slave, and nobody likes slavery. …
 I can say only one thing: you have given each other beautiful moments—be grateful, be thankful. The parting should not be ugly when the meeting was so beautiful.
 You owe it to existence that the parting should be made beautiful. Forget all your promises—they were right when they were given, but the time has changed, you have changed. You both are standing at a crossroads, ready to move in different directions; perhaps you may never meet again. Make it as graceful as possible. And once you understand that it has to happen, gracefully or ungracefully, then it is better to make it graceful.
 At least, your lover will live in your memory, you will live in the memory of the lover. In a certain way, those moments together will always enrich you. But part gracefully.
 And it is not difficult when you have understood love—which is a very difficult phenomenon. You fell without a second thought; you can understand that very easily love has disappeared. Accept the truth of it, and don’t blame each other, because nobody is responsible.
 Help each other gracefully; in deep friendship, part. Lovers when they separate become enemies. That is a strange kind of gratitude. They should become really friends. And if love can become friendship, there is no guilt, no grudge, no feeling that you have been cheated, exploited. Nobody has exploited anybody; it was just the biological energy which made you blind.
 I teach a different kind of love.
 It does not end in friendship but begins in friendship.
 It begins in silence, in awareness. It is a love which is your own creation, which is not blind.
 Such a love can last forever, can go on growing deeper and deeper.
 Such a love is immensely sensitive. In this kind of relationship one starts feeling the need of the other person even before the other person has spoken.
 I have known a few couples, very few couples—my acquaintance with couples is big, but I have come across only two, three couples who had not fallen in love, who have risen in love. And the most miraculous thing about them was that they started feeling each other without words.
 If the man was feeling thirsty, the woman would bring water. Nothing has been said just a synchronicity. If the loved one is feeling thirsty, she must start feeling thirsty herself. A transfer is happening continuously, words are not needed. Energies can relate directly without language.
 Such a love needs nothing from the other.
 It is grateful that the other receives something when he offers, or she offers.
 It never feels in any kind of bondage, because there is none.
 In such love, sex may happen sometimes, may not happen for months, and finally will disappear completely. In this context, sex is no longer sexual, but only a way of being together, going as deeply as possible into each other, an effort to reach the depths of the other. It has nothing to do with biological reproduction.
 And once they start understanding that whatsoever they do …. In sex only their bodies can meet, then sex slowly disappears. Then a different kind of meeting starts happening which is just a meeting of energies. Holding hands, sitting together looking at the stars, it is more than any sexual orgasm can give—two energies melting.
 Sexual orgasm is physical, is bound to be the lowest kind. Orgasm which is not physical has tremendous beauty, and leads finally to self-realization. And if love cannot give you enlightenment, don’t call it love. Love is such a beautiful word. When you say, “Falling in love,” you are using the word in an ugly way. Say “falling in sex”; be true. In love one always rises, never falls. But first you have to come out of the ditch. Help each other.
 Biology is not going to help. Just be human to each other, and understand the point that the love that was blinding you is no longer there. Your eyes are open. Don’t try to deceive the other that you still love, you still feel, but what to do? This kind of hypocrisy is not good. Simply say, “The feeling is no longer there. I am sad and sorry about it, I would have loved the feeling to be there, but it is not there. And I know it is not there in you either.”
 Once it is understood that the feeling is gone, now at least, just as human beings, help each other to get out of the ditch. If you help, there is no problem. But instead of helping, each wants to get it finished but doesn’t allow the other to get out of the ditch. They go on pulling each other down.
 Understand. The reason is fear; the old love is gone, the new has not yet arrived. It cannot arrive in your ditch, you will have to come out first. So the fear is of the unknown.
 The past was so beautiful you would like to repeat it, so you try to force it, the other tries to force it. But these things are not within your power to force. A forced love is not love.
 If you have to kiss somebody at the point of a sword— “Kiss!” —what kind of a kiss will that be? Looking at the sword, you may kiss, but it will not be a kiss at all.
 Any love enforced for any reasons, is not love. And you both know what love is, because you had been in those moments; so you can compare easily that it is not the same thing. Help each other to come out—and it is very easy if you help each other—and part in grace.
 Next time try not to fall, but try to rise.
 Don’t let biology dominate you.
 Your consciousness should be the master.


[20 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismAs breathing needs no object, love needs no object. Sometimes you are breathing with a friend, and sometimes you are breathing by the side of a tree, and sometimes you are breathing while swimming in a pool. You should love in the same way. Love should be the interior core of your breathing; it should be as natural as breathing. In fact, love has the same relationship to the soul as breathing has to the body.

[21 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismLove means that you have to learn to respect the other as an end unto himself. The other is not a means. That is the only immoral act in the world. In fact, the whole of immorality can be defined through this simple thing: if you are using the other as a means, you are immoral. If you are full of respect for the other person as an end, then you are moral.
 Sooner or later the other person wants his space and fear arises in you. You would like to make the other a prisoner—of course, with beautiful chains, golden chains studded with diamonds. Then you can be certain of tomorrow. Otherwise—who knows? Your lover may leave you. One never knows what is going to happen the next moment, so one wants to be certain about the next moment, one wants a certain guarantee, and that very guarantee kills love.
 Then there are husbands and wives … Those are the people who have butchered love, killed it completely. Now, marriage is certainly a far more permanent phenomenon, like a plastic flower. A real rose is bound to disappear. Just a strong wind comes and the petals wither away. One has to accept that life is a constant flux.
 Love creates all these challenges, but if you remain centered, alert and aware, then these challenges are immensely helpful; they make you rich.


[22 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismBut the people who have given the ideas about love have given very wrong notions. One notion that they have given is that if you love a person then you have to love the person forever—if it is real love. That is their criterion. If some day after ten years you find your paths separating, then the criterion that you have been carrying in the mind says, “All these ten years you were in a false love and you thought it was real.”
 I want to say to you that the reality of love has nothing to do with its longevity. Is the flower not real just because by the evening it fades? Is only the rock real because it will remain tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that, because the day you were born it was there, and the day you die it will be there? Is only that rock real; and the flowers, thousands of flowers that came and disappeared, came and disappeared, were they unreal? Do you make length of time the criterion of reality? I don’t see any relationship between the two. But because of this idea many people go on hanging around each other’s necks because their love has to be real. They are killing each other to make the love real. If they separate that means their love was not real.
 I am not saying that they have to separate to make the love real—don’t move to the opposite extreme, that you have to separate. It will depend on each individual case separately. It is possible that two persons may love their whole life without ever looking anywhere else. It is possible that one may love one person for the time being and then suddenly find that energy is no longer there.
 It had come from the unknown.
 It has gone to the unknown.
 It was not within your power to love somebody; it is not in your power to prevent love from disappearing. You cannot do anything about it, you are simply helpless; so is the other person. Don’t blame anybody. Because of the wrong idea of love, lovers go on blaming each other: “You are destroying it.” Nobody is destroying it. It is a free breeze; it comes, goes—you cannot hold it. And if you close all the windows and all the doors to hold the breeze, it is no longer the same cool breeze. Soon it will be stale as all marriages are—stale, dull.
 Both the partners are trying to escape through some place—some window, some door—but the other is keeping watch. The other is also trying to escape from some door but the other is keeping watch. Soon husbands and wives become each other’s jailers. Love has to be for the whole of life, then only is it real—this is stupidity. And because of this idea in the name of love, marriage had to be invented. It is a more stable thing, permanent, legal, social—just like the rock. It is no longer a flower.
 The idea has come through people who have not experienced. The same is the case about other ideas—for example, truth. People who know nothing about truth go on talking about it. It is an experience, it is not some object somewhere which one day you are going to find and catch hold of and put in your safe or in a bank.
 Truth is not some thing, it is an experience.
 You cannot talk about it—you can talk it.
 It can be in your very gestures.
 It can be in your eyes.
 It can be in your presence.
 But you cannot talk about it, because when you know truth you know it is your very being, it is—you. It is not somewhere else. You cannot give any description of it, you cannot draw a picture of it. No words are capable of describing it.


[23 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismThe education of love does not mean giving reasons for love, it only means creating an environment, an opportunity in which the child can become loving.
A mother telling the child, “Love me because I am your mother” is not teaching the child love. She should say, “It concerns your life, your future, your happiness that you be loving to whoever or whatever comes along on your path—be it a stone, a flower, a human being, an animal, whatever. The question is not of giving love to the animal, to the flower or to the mother or someone else, the question is of you being loving. Your future depends on how loving you are. The possibility of bliss, of happiness in your life depends on how full of love you are.”
 People need an education in being loving, then they can be free of sexuality. But we do not educate people in being loving; we do not create any feeling of love. Instead, whatsoever we talk about and pass on in the name of love is false. …
 To be loving should become our very personality. It should be our state of being; it should not depend on “to whom.” But all lovers want the beloved to love only them, to love no one else. But they don’t know that one who cannot love all, cannot love anyone. The wife says her husband should love only her and not be loving towards anybody else, the stream of his love should flow only toward her. But she does not realize that such love is false and that she has caused it to be so. How can a husband who is not always full of love for everybody be loving toward his wife?
 To be loving means it is the nature of one’s life around the clock. One cannot be full of love for one person and devoid of love for others. But until today mankind hasn’t been able to see this simple truth. The father asks the child to be loving to him. But what about the old servant in the house? No need, he is only a servant. But the old servant this son hasn’t been allowed to be loving to is also someone’s father, and this father doesn’t realize that tomorrow if not today, when he himself has grown old, he will complain about his son not being loving to him. His son could have grown into being a loving man had he been taught to be loving toward all.
 Love is a matter of inner nature, not of relationship. Love has nothing to do with relationship, love is a state of being. It is an inner component of one’s personality. We should be given another kind of teaching, that of being loving—loving to each and all. If a child even puts down a book in an unloving way, the child’s attention should be drawn to the fact. “It is unseemly to your personality to place the book that way. Someone will see, hear of or notice that you have misbehaved with the book, that you have misbehaved with your dog. It indicates a shortcoming in your personality.” …
 The potential to love should grow within you—love for plants, birds and animals, love for human beings, love for strangers, love for foreigners, love for those who may be far away from you—the moon and the stars. Your love should grow.
 The possibility of sex in one’s life lessens as love increases within the person. Love and meditation together open that door which is the door to godliness. Love plus meditation is equal to godliness. Where love and meditation join, godliness is attained. The outcome of this attainment is celibacy. Then the entire life-energy ascends upward through a new passage. Then it does not leak out gradually; then it does not flow out to a waste. The energy rises, starts moving upward on inner routes. It goes on an upward voyage. Our journey, at present, is downward to the lower levels. Sex is the flow of energy downward, celibacy is its upward journey.
 Love and meditation are the key to celibacy.


[24 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismIn this world almost everybody thinks that he loves, but if you look around at the lovers, they are prisoners to each other. What a strange kind of love is this love which creates bondage. Can love ever become a bondage? But in ninety-nine point nine percent of cases it does, because from the very beginning love was not there.
 It is a fact that ordinarily people only think they love: they don’t love. When love comes, where is “I” and “thou”? When love comes, it immediately brings a tremendous sense of freedom, non-possessiveness. But that love happens, unfortunately, very rarely.
 Love with freedom—if you have it, you are a king or a queen. That is the real kingdom of God: love with freedom. Love gives you the roots into the earth, and freedom gives you the wings.


[25 of 25] Osho (Rajneesh) (1931-1990, India): primary subject "Love, and emotions"
India, Iran, Tibet, BuddhismIf love is deep then there are bound to be some quarrels. Sometimes you will fight. And the fight is not going to break the love, it enriches it. If love is there, it will be enriched by fighting; if love is not there, then you part, you separate. Ten years is a long time—even twenty-four hours is too long to be constantly in one state of mind, because mind moves to the opposite.
 You love a person; sometimes you feel angry. Really, you feel angry only because you love. Sometimes you hate! Sometimes you would like to sacrifice yourself for your lover, and sometimes you would like to kill the lover. And both are you.
 If you have not quarreled for ten years it means there was no love at all. It means it was not a relationship. And you were so afraid that any anger, any conflict, any slight thing could break down the whole thing. You were so afraid you never quarreled. You never believed that the love could go deeper than the quarrel, that the quarrel would be momentary and after the quarrel you would fall into each other’s arms more deeply. No, you never trusted that. That’s why you managed not to fight. And it is not something to be surprised about, that the man has left. I said, “I am surprised that he remained with you for ten years. Why?”
 One man came to me and he said, “Something has gone wrong with my son. I have known him for twenty years—he was always obedient. Such a good boy you cannot find anywhere. He never disobeyed, he never went against me. And now suddenly he has become a hippie. Now suddenly he doesn’t listen. He looks at me as if I am not his father at all. He looks at me as if I am a stranger. And for twenty years he was so obedient. What has happened to my son?”
 Nothing has happened. This is what was to be expected, because if a son really loves his father he disobeys also. Whom else should he disobey? If a son really loves his father and trusts him, sometimes he goes away also—because he knows the relationship is so deep that by disobeying it is not going to be broken. Rather, on the contrary, it will be enriched. The opposite enriches.
 Really, the opposite is not opposite. It is just a rhythm, a rhythm of the same; you obey and then you disobey—it is a rhythm. Otherwise, you just going on obeying, obeying, and everything becomes monotonous and dead. Monotony is the nature of death, because the opposite is not there.
 Life is alive. The opposite is there, a rhythm is there. You move, you come back; you depart, you arrive; you disobey, then you obey also; you love and you hate. This is life, but not logic. Logic says if you love you cannot hate. If you love, how can you be angry? If you love in this way then you love in a monotonous way, the same pitch. But then you will become tense, then it is impossible to relax.
 Logic believes in linear phenomena: you move in one line. Life believes in circles: the same line goes up, comes down, becomes a circle.
 You must have seen the Chinese circle of yin and yang. That is how life is: opposites meeting. That circle of yin and yang is half white, half black. In the white there is a black spot, and in the black there is a white spot. The white is moving into the black, and the black is moving into the white—it is a circle. The woman moving into the man, the man moving into the woman—this is life. And if you observe minutely, you will see it within you. …
 The Western mind is linear, the Eastern mind is circular. So in the East a lover can wait. He knows that the woman who has now left him will come back. She is already on the way, she must be already repenting, she must have already repented, she must be coming; sooner or later she will knock at the door. Just wait, because the opposite is always there.
 And whenever a woman comes back after anger, then love again is fresh. Now it is not repetition. The gap of anger destroyed the past. Now she is again a young girl, a virgin girl. Again she falls in love—everything becomes fresh.
 If you understand this, then you are not against anything. You know even anger is beautiful, even a quarrel here and there gives tone to life. And everything helps the richness. Then you accept, then deep in acceptance you are patient, then there is no impatience and no hurry. Then you can wait and pray and hope and dream. …
 Life is not logic. Logic is just a part—of course, very clean-cut, categorized, compartmentalized, divided—but life is messy. But what to do? It is so. It is not so compartmentalized, so clear-cut, divided. It is a chaos. But logic is dead and life is alive, so the question is whether to choose consistency or to choose life.
 If you are too much for consistency you will become dead, and deader and deader, because consistency is possible only if you drop the opposite completely. Then you love and only love and only love and are never angry, never hate, never fight. You obey, only obey—never disobedience, never rebellion, never going away. But then everything becomes stale, then the relationship becomes poisonous—then it kills.